The House Always Wins, But Mama Never Bet

There’s was a push in Georgia to legalize sports gambling. I suppose the idea is that if folks are going to lose money, they might as well do it without driving to Tennessee.

Now, I’m not much of a gambler. I once lost $40 on a Georgia Tech game, and I still wake up some nights in a cold sweat wondering what in the world I was thinking betting on Georgia Tech.

But I’ve been around gamblers my whole life. We had one fella in Moreland who used to bet on professional wrestling. He was also our town mechanic, which may explain why my daddy’s truck had to be fixed every other Tuesday. I asked him once why he bet on wrestling when everybody knew it was fake. He said, “Son, so is pro football—and at least these fellas don’t pretend otherwise.”

There’s something about putting money on a game that turns grown men into lunatics. I’ve seen men who couldn’t spell “Oregon” put $500 on the Ducks covering the spread. I’ve seen others pray harder for a field goal cover than they ever did for their own children.

And now, apparently, we’re going to let our phones do the betting for us. Just tap, swipe, and boom—you’re $200 lighter and yelling at a sophomore kicker in Boise.

Back in my day, if you wanted to lose your money, you had to do it the honest way: by getting married.

But let’s be fair. Gambling is as Southern as barbecue and divorce court. We already have bingo nights, raffles, and fantasy football leagues that eat more paychecks than the IRS. Legalizing it won’t create the problem: it’ll just put a coat and tie on it, charge you a service fee, and call it “regulation.”

Still, I worry. Not about the house always winning—that’s baked in—but about the folks who can’t afford to lose and keep pulling that lever anyway. It’s hard to teach responsibility in a culture that sells scratch-offs next to diapers.

Mama never gambled. She said if the Lord wanted you to have more money, He’d send it through hard work and maybe a casserole from the church ladies. She said gambling was like buying hope with interest And hope should be free.

She also said Georgia would legalize gambling “about the same time they figure out how to fix I-285.” Looks like we’re running behind on both.

But if this thing passes, I got one request:
Let me put twenty bucks on Georgia to beat Florida.

It ain’t smart.
But it feels right.